09/20/23

I have varied and oscillating thoughts when it comes to dating.

the first line of thinking is that dating/being on dating apps is so fun and silly. I am of the opinion that unless and until someone sits me down and says “will you be my girlfriend,” and I say YES, dating is just …. not that serious. because it really isn’t. it’s literally just hanging out with someone and trying to determine if you’d like to hang out again or not. at the very least it is an opportunity to meet new people, go outside your comfort zone (growth!!), and collect funny stories and interesting anecdotes to dissect with your friends later.

so yes, I do think dating is fun to an extent.

on the other hand, I think that dating/being on dating apps can be very disheartening. the apps lend themselves to a lot of rejection, and often comes with a lot of lackluster conversation. and I think that a person can only take so many lame conversations or stare at their phone waiting for someone to message back before it starts to take a toll on self-esteem. myself included.

this is when I turn to things I like to remind myself when dating starts to feel not fun anymore:

1. at any time, I can choose to take a break from dating/dating apps
2. there is no timeline that I need to be meeting, this idea that I’m “running out of time” to meet someone is FALSE
3. I am intelligent and kind and a good conversationalist and so funny and gainfully employed and financially stable and yes, I’ll say it – I think I’m relatively attractive – so I know and I believe that I bring a lot to the table
4. I would rather be alone than be in a relationship that makes me feel lonely
5. I believe in a universe that wills the good, and I have no reason to believe that the relationship I seek isn’t out there waiting for me
6. just because my other friends may have something I want (ex: a relationship) does not mean I won’t also one day have my own version of that thing. there is no need for jealousy, there is enough love in the world to go around
7. it really will all work out. it really, truly, will.

anyway, these are just some thoughts I’ve been having lately about dating. writing this post made me feel better, and maybe someone out there will read this post and feel better too.

things I am grateful for: the courage and resiliency necessary to keep putting myself out there; an inherent sense of self-worth to fall back on; and the unfailing and unconditional love of my dog and cat.

– Mia