09/13/23

it’s been a long time coming …

it has been such a long time since I’ve written in this blog, but I’ve had some loyal followers reach out to me and ask when I was going to be posting again (additionally, I now recognize that writing a post entitled “The Grief” and then not writing again for months was probably alarming, so my apologies for that). one habit I picked up in college was writing down any fun/social/things not in my day-to-day schedule on my calendar, mostly as a reminder of how full my life was when I felt like all I did was study and work. I’ve continued this habit to this day, so I will now attempt to update you all on my life happenings these past few months.

April 2023: April was a hard month. my friend’s dad passed away (this was the event that inspired my post “The Grief.”) also, my five chickens that we raised from babies back in 2020 were killed. also, my sweet cat Pi was killed. so, kinda sucked. and I did have a CRAZY dating encounter. I went out on three dates with this guy – he’s 31 – so only a few years older than me, nothing crazy. on our first date I asked him if he’d ever been married or had any kids, to which he told me no (mind you, I didn’t ask an open-ended question like “tell me about your family,” I asked two YES or NO questions). well, after three really good dates I found out that (1) he was married (as in, currently married), (2) he had a child, and (3) he was a FELON with DOMESTIC VIOLENCE charges! so needless to say I did end things after that. I did meet another boy that month – more on this later.

May 2023: in May I adopted a kitten – I named him Gustavo – in honor of my sweet boy Pi who died the month earlier. Gustavo is a menace to my household and to society, but I love him very much. he and my pug get along very well and play all the time, so even though he drives me INSANE, I don’t regret my decision. I also spent a lot of time dating this boy – I mean, like multiple dates a week – and things were going really well. I was playing volleyball with a league every Monday, and for the most part my days were taken up with my pets/this boy. nothing too crazy or sad or outlandish to report.

June 2023: in June I accepted the fact that I hated my job as a contract negotiator. I applied for a job at the district attorney’s office and was offered a position on the spot. I submitted my resignation to my boss (she took it very well and was very supportive of my decision) and cashed in my remaining vacation days. I was still dating this boy, still playing volleyball, had my first day at my new job. I floated the river with some friends this month, housesat and made some extra money this month, and started my new job this month. all super good things. however, on the literal last day of the month, the boy I’d been dating and I got into our first fight – not even really a fight I would say, more a disagreement. at this point we’d been dating and seeing each other multiple times a week for two months, so not crazy but also like we’d met each other’s friends, been to each other’s places, we were spending a lot of time together. so I asked him about his past relationships, and he started to tell me something then stopped and said “actually … never mind.” now, as a curious person I obviously asked him what he was going to say, to which he responded “I’ll tell you next time.” next time comes around, and he refuses to budge. I finally explain that I’m feeling insecure and building it up in my head (see: married felon from April, which he KNEW about), but he doesn’t want to tell me. I go home and we say we’ll talk more the next day. the next day, he doesn’t answer my calls or texts all day, except to finally say “hey it made me uncomfortable that you wouldn’t drop it, this isn’t going to work, best of luck <3” and then never responded to this day. so THAT sucked obviously, but it was a good lesson in boundaries and also in knowing that I CANNOT be with someone who punishes me with the silent treatment.

July 2023: I didn’t date at all this month, as I was still reeling from the weird way things ended with the last boy. but it was a good month in refocusing on myself. I started working out more, I got comfortable with doing things by myself again, I grew more confident in my job (side note: I LOVE my job even though it’s so nutty and keeps me so busy). I was still playing volleyball, spending more time with my parents, my brother, my cousins, my friends, doing things I enjoy – going to the movies, getting manicures, reading, going to church again – so definitely a month of growth and healing.

August 2023: August was SUCH a fun month. my dear friend (whom I’ve known since middle school) is getting married, so I got to help her celebrate with a bachelorette weekend in Savannah, Georgia! Savannah is gorgeous and it was such a fun weekend – my friend’s bridal party is not very big and all the girls in it are so fun and sweet and cool so there was no drama, just good times to be had by all. lots of shopping, eating at cute places, day drinking, going out, going to the beach, a rain-soaked ghost tour, and time with my friends – couldn’t ask for anything better. I also started going on dates again this month – nothing too crazy, I went out on a date with one guy (did NOT go out again because he was weird and very horny), went out on two dates with another guy (mutually ended it as we never texted each other again, but I felt he looked too similar to my uncle so it was for the best lol), and I’ve gone on three dates with another guy (nothing too serious, we’ve gone out three times, typically only go out once a week so not much to report there). still playing volleyball, growing closer with my coworkers, and just overall trying to take care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

September 2023: which brings us to the present! so far, I have no complaints about September. work is keeping me very busy, but I’ve also made time to see/spend time with my family, which is very important to me. I’ve seen my therapist after months of not seeing her, which did a lot of good for me. I’ve spent time with friends from college – some from Baton Rouge, you know who you are – and traveled back to my college city for supper club with some of my other friends who I hadn’t seen in way too long. I also crossed from “work friends” into “real friends” with one of my coworkers, and hopefully that will continue to develop and will happen with some other coworkers as well. I’m feeling loved and full and surrounded by people who care about me, which really is all I can hope for at the end of the day.

sorry it’s been so long, but hopefully this post is a decent recap of what I’ve been doing. I’ll try not to go months before my next blog post!

things I am grateful for: having the courage to change jobs (and being much happier at this one than my old one), nurturing and prioritizing myself, and all the good that has happened this year.

– Mia