11/26/22

for the past 5 or so days, it has been cold, wet, gray, and just kind of miserable. like not even fully raining, just kind of damp and spitting and unpleasant. but today the sun finally came out! which is a huge relief as daylight savings time is truly the bane of my existence.

I know that a lot of people suffer from seasonal affective disorder (seasonal depression), and I am no exception. seasonal depression is so frustrating to me, because my family is happy and healthy, I have a good job, I have the means to live in a nice apartment, I have friends who care about me, and yet this time of year is always so hard for me. and it just frustrates me because I feel like I don’t have anything to be sad about. which is ironic because if someone came to me and said that they were frustrated with themselves for feeling sad even though they didn’t feel like they had a right to be sad, I would tell them that their feelings are valid. so I know I owe it to myself to be kinder to myself, and to show myself the same grace I would show someone else in a similar position.

today was a beautiful sunny day, and I made sure to spend a majority of my day outside, despite the cold weather. this morning I had a pug meet-up, which is exactly what it sounds like – a bunch of owners and their pugs meeting up at a dog park in the city. it’s hilarious and over-the-top and really only something a pug owner understands the appeal of, but today four of my friends came! and it made my heart happy that they would spend part of their Saturday standing around a dog park watching a bunch of pugs run around.

it hasn’t even been a full month since we had to set our clocks back an hour, and we won’t be able to “spring forward” until March, so I know I have a lot of long, dark days ahead of me. but I will take the sunlight where I can find it, and show myself grace in the days that I can’t.

things I am grateful for: sunlight after several cloudy days in a row; dog parks; and knowing that a group of pugs is called a grumble.